Driven by the Beat of My Own Drum

I can’t believe this. I’ve been having such high energy levels lately. This prompts me to feel more positive and generically happy. No, I’m not one hundred percent myself yet, but hey, small steps right? To be honest, I can do without a few teachers staring all the time. The other day I was sitting in class and was about a half second away from screaming “FUCK OFF” and storming out of the class. Yeah, its gotten back to the eff you stage. It’s an empowering feeling, which fuels my drive to go on. Hell, who knows how long this will last. I’m trying not to think too much into it, I mean, how long can this last where I am this energized? A week? A day? One more minute? All I can do is embrace it now. If I start to think, then the negative thoughts will stroll on in. Like I’ve mentioned in previous publications, I’ve been planning my birthday party. My mother insisted on me having this shindig (More like forced.) As it turns out, she just booked a venue because, “Its communion/confirmation/graduation etc season, and every one will be booked.” I knew this was true. And the rest is “left up to me.” Thanks, mum. The problem is, with my birth month being April, I never know how mother nature will grace us. Usually, she graces me with her presence in the worst ways. Rain. I love rain, I love the smell, the feel, the sounds that are associated with it. Just not when I wanted “my” shindig to be held outside. The way I saw it, we could have it outside in a tent with lanterns and a dance floor with a DJ. Going all out vintage. Now I have to bring this ideal inside. Hmm. My creativity is sparked.I have yet to make that contract I am suppose to make- one less thing to think about right now. For now, most of my time is occupied with searching for a vintage dress. This is  hard considering not many appreciate the vintage culture from which I feed off of. Sure, there is ModCloth and Etsy-but this is apparently a big deal. I “need a nicer party dress to stand out” according to my friends and mother. Any suggestions? Anyone *crickets*. Until next time, it’s back to the drawing boards. Stay hip, lovies. 


One response to “Driven by the Beat of My Own Drum

  1. You’re looking for something. You aren’t sure what it is, where it is, or if it’s even a tangible expression of reality. But it’s somewhere out there. Like a young, married, businessman who is at the epitome of his corporation but has forgotten the combination to his briefcase that carries vital information for his companies success. He struggles for hours by his kitchen table, attempting to find the right collection of numbers that will guarantee not only his success but the success of those around him. But before it is to late, he forgets to see what was right in front of him. He had spent those hours attempting the numbers that are significant to the people in his life; his son’s birthday, his marriage anniversary, the day his little sister graduated college. And yet this man, so brilliant and energetic, forgets to try his own birthday as the combination. Silly isn’t it? This man, who was valedictorian of his class, who found the problems in his companies merger plan and saved them millions; it was a simple thing that tripped him up. Something that is right in front of him. He does so much for others, he LIVES for others, he puts the happiness of others before his own and has done so without hesitation and without contemplation. And he has done this for 27 years of his life. And who knows? Maybe if he had remember something as silly as his own birthday, he would still be working for that company. You can be nice and follow a straight path of morality, but time has to be put out for yourself and if it’s not, you might end up missing the right combination. After all, those who are able to put smiles on others faces tend to be frowning themselves.

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