ANA Warrior

Guess who just conquered two fear foods in one night? Please pardon the rhetorical question. I just surprised myself in doing this, it’s a first for me. Sure, they weren’t HUGE fear foods, but I can now cross one of my old binge foods (Special K cereal) off. I always feared dried fruit as well. Check and mate. And guess what else? I didn’t gain a ton of weight. It’s moments like this where I personify ANA and ED and scream FUCK YOU in their “faces” and slap them with all my strength. One of the many things they deprived me of. But I digress, onward and upward, lads 🙂


10 responses to “ANA Warrior

      • In taking a leap off the “cliff”, one would be not as much scared, as uncomfortable with the situation and a bit anxious. Especially in recovery. However, with the amount of determination on the line, the percentage of anxiety diminishes. The beautiful thing about recovery, is that yes you will have slip ups, you will be a tad bit scared but you realize that have so much more to live for. Yes, facing your phobia every day is uncomfortable. However, I am no longer “scared” of ANA. That would be giving into her powers. I am simply challenging her powers in ways unlike before.

  1. I’m well aware of all that. I think you forget how much I really know. I’m talking about the peak. This roll. We both know it’s happened before. The invigoration, the hyped up sense of self determination. It’s all peaked and led to relapses. Fighting with friends and family, the emotional ‘slip ups’ and loss of sleep. So what’s so different now? The weather? The time of the year? Think about what happened around this time last year and all that led up to it? So what is that makes you so sure of yourself? What is it that makes those anxieties diminish? That’s what’s interesting.

    • As it turns out, I am a different person. I have matured and my thoughts along with it. There are supportive people in my life now. There are people who bring me up. The season has nothing to do with it other than life sprouting up from its routs. Sparks of determination are bound to happen. Like I have mentioned, this time is different due to the place at which I am at now. The times are changing. I am changing them. No need to dull the moment.

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