It’s strange how I can be so strong and then in a second, I get nervous over the oddest little things. This, my fellow readers, is a different nervous. A thrilling, exhilarating, nervous kind. My point here is, I have party plans every day starting next Friday. (Shocker, right?) Next Saturday, my cousin invited both me and my family over for his high school graduation which brings me great angst. Allow me to explain. I was introduced to his best friend at the periodic soirees that came within the summer months last year. Inevitably this lad wanted to talk to me and made it rather obvious. Whats more? This cat inquired about me to my cousins ( i.e.;information about me such as where I lived). I was caught off guard by the whole situation. Everyone knew about this cat approaching me too, which led them to add unnecessary pressure. All the while, this was the onset of me disbelieving my pre-established thoughts that I wasn’t the type for dating. It empowered my perception of myself which ultimately aided in fortifying my confidence. I was over come with feelings like none I had ever had prior to these moments at last, mutual emotions toward someone. Something I certainly was not accustom to. Especially considering I was not the one to make the first move. What shocked me the most was fellow went out of their way to talk to me. How strange. It was a whole new world for me. The shame of it is this lad lives a bit farther than I do. The long distance relationship had potential, but perhaps it was for the best at the time. In the time we had apart, we became social media friends. Why am I so anxious? I mean, I’m not the type to get overwrought by this. As I’ve mentioned before, ultimately, the sense that this character approached me was like no other. Perhaps that is why I am still baffled by the whole situation. During that time, I led myself to believe that I am not the type of lad who dates because I am not as “easy” as the others. It was a pre-destined ideal I suppose you can say. Regardless, the time is approaching. With every day passing, I get to thinking more and more which leads me to try and preoccupy my thoughts through music or reorganizing everything. What can I say, I am the type where I let my thoughts run away from me. For those of you who are Great Gatsby enthusiasts, recall the episode in the novel (or movie otherwise) where Gatsby is outrageously jittery about meeting Daisy following a five year detachment. He asks his companion, Nick Carraway, to invite Daisy (who is inevitably his cousin) to tea. All the while, Jay is eager to impress her by jazzing up Nick’s quaint, humble, abode. Gatsby, flustered, begins to commence a countdown and when Daisy does not show up precisely on time, he lets his thoughts get the best of him. Finally, Daisy arrives, as Nick leaves to welcome Daisy in, Gatsby is overwhelmed with a plethora of emotions and escapes out the back. In time, he returns after standing in the rain attempting to get a hold of himself. Needless to say, he grows up his confidence and walks in to see his love after a prolonged period of time. My point is, I feel like I, like Gatsby will turn to acting in a folly manner if I keep to thinking about it. Any tips on how to stay sane in the next week? Who knows, the outcome may end up the way it should have last year. I know I am going to have to get out of my comfort zones if I wish to pursue this just as this breed had last year. As for now, I need to keep my mind clear in order to keep from turning into Gatsby. I’m not looking to relive the past, rather, to continue what was originally started. Its a jump off a cliff for us, but in the end, the outcome shall override the thrilling jump. Just like most things in life, great things begin after the first leap of faith. Until next time, take a leap of faith that can have the potential for a superior fate, lads. Go on, just remember to take a deep breath first. 🙂 “So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald.